Slowly saying goodbye
This past weekend I saw you, for the first time in awhile I saw you, I couldn’t believe you were standing right in front of me, I caught myself many times smiling at you and I’m not sure why exactly I was smiling at a person that caused me so much pain and hurt? It just didn’t make any sense. We spoke to each other like nothing ever happened, like if we never met, a little part of me wanted to hug you and not let go, to jump in your car and just drive like we used to but soon enough i realized that was no longer us, we’re no longer the individuals we used to be, i kept my distance as much as i could but that didn’t help since we have the same friends. Then i was even more shocked when you asked to take picture, I played it off as if it didn’t mean anything but in a way it meant something & then you whispered in my ear that you missed me & this is where I completely just didn’t know what to say because if i can recall I had told you the same thing not to long ago but your reply was no reply at all, and eventually you tell me you still want me in your life as a friend and more things that I can barely remember but i do indeed remember you slowly kissing my forehead and backing away, no matter how much pain and hurt you caused me and the fact that you made me fall completely in love with you, I will always in some way shape or form have love for you, that”s just how it’s going to be more less that’s just how i am as a person & in the end you were one of the BEST things that happened to me.
Act like you trust people, but don’t.
What I have with you, I don’t want with anyone else.
But your best friend is still your best friend. Even from half a world away. Distance can’t sever that connection. Best friends are the kind of people who can survive anything. And when best friends see each other again, after being separated by half a world and more miles than you think you can bear, you pick up right where you left off. After all, that’s what best friends do.
Expectation is the root of all heartache.